


Corpus Callosum

by amoleofmonsters



Series: Fight Club AU [3]
Category: Free!
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Fight Club Fusion, Blow Jobs, Depression, F/M, Fight Club - Freeform, Fight Club AU, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Recovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-03
Updated: 2014-06-03
Packaged: 2018-02-03 05:55:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1733549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amoleofmonsters/pseuds/amoleofmonsters
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>And sometimes, we have to mend bridges.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Corpus Callosum

**Author's Note:**

> And so, we finally have the conclusion to my Fight Club AU. It was a long time coming. I kept having writer's block for this and so it kept getting pushed off. But finally it is done. I don't like it as much as part one and part two, but I think it's the happy ending that was needed.

**cor·pus cal·lo·sum**  
noun  
a broad band of nerve fibers joining the two hemispheres of the brain.

 

“You’re happy.”

The words pass from Dr. Amakata’s lips as she watches me from across the room. She sits in her oversized leather chair, a small smile tugging at the corner of her mouth.

I cock an eyebrow at her. “I don’t know too many people who are happy in a doctor’s office.”

She waves her hand at me and shakes her head. “No, I don’t mean right now. I meant with your life in general.”

“Why do you say that?”

She gives me a look. “Are you denying it?”

I shrug my shoulders and look away from her to peer out of the window. Her outpatient office is up on the fifteenth floor of the hospital and from the window, I can see the busy street below. I fiddle with the ring on my finger absentmindedly, a habit I have picked up recently. Her words echo in my mind. Am I happy?

 

I stand at the kitchen sink, washing the carrots I will be cutting for that night’s dinner. I hear Makoto tapping his fingers against the table behind me.

The room is quite and it makes me uncomfortable.

A week ago, I was released from the hospital and pronounced not guilty for the crimes I had been accused of. Afterwards, Makoto picked me up from the courthouse, kissed me, and told me he loved me. I thought everything was going to be smooth sailing between us from then on, but it has been a week since then and we have not said much to each other. We have dinner together every night, but it is quiet. It feels more like passive coexistence than a relationship.

I finish cutting the carrots and slide them into the salad.

Makoto helps me set the table. We sit down across from each other and dig into the dinner. The only sound that can be heard is the sound of our chewing.

“Did you say something thing?”

I look up at him for the first time since we sat down. “No.”

“Oh.”

We go back to eating.

 

I find myself in Nagisa’s apartment a few days later with a six pack of beer. Both Makoto and Rei had class so it is just the two of us. The beer feels nice as it glides down my throat. Nagisa sits crossed legged on the couch and I can see him watching me. I touch my hair, feeling slightly self-conscious. I still do not know how to react to him. The last time I saw him, I had a panic attack.

“What’s wrong, Haru?”

“What do you mean? Nothing’s wrong. My medication is working just fine.”

“No, not that,” says Nagisa, waving his hand in front of his face. “Something’s bothering you.”

I sigh. I contemplate not saying anything or being dismissive, but I swore I would try my hardest to reach out to the people I care about. “Well, I have to say that things between me and Makoto have been… I don’t want to say bad, but awkward.”

“Between you and Mako? No way! You two can practically read each other’s mind! I wish me and Rei were like that.”

I shrug. “We don’t really talk since I got back from the hospital. He told me he was in love with me, but maybe he wasn’t serious about it. Maybe he just told me that so I would feel better about myself. He probably wants nothing to do with me, but he’s too nice to say it. And I don’t really have a reason to leave the apartment that much so I just feel like I’m going crazy thinking about this.”

Nagisa shakes his head. “Mako loves you! I know he loves you, he’s always loved you, just like I know you’ve always loved him! You’re Mako and Haru! If you two can’t make it, what chance do the rest of us have?”

“Maybe I should get out of the house. I’m just paranoid. I need a job, but I don’t know where to look. All the jobs I had before just made me depressed.”

Nagisa perks up at that. “I know just the place! I got a job as a waiter at this amazing restaurant a month ago! They’re not officially hiring right now, but I’m sure if I put in a good word, they would love to help you out! How about it?”

I stare at Nagisa, completely taken aback. “Why not? Sure, if you can get me a job, I’ll take it.”

So that’s how I ended up as Nagisa’s co-worker. He had not been lying. The restaurant is an upscale place. Business men hold their dinner parties in the backrooms and rich socialites can be found at the bar almost every night, sipping from tall wine glasses. On rare occasions, famous movie stars come in. The food is overpriced but amazing, and the owner is a pleasant man who is not above socializing with some of the customers. I have no idea how Nagisa managed to get a job here, and I am even more surprised when they hire me. This is definitely the nicest job I have ever had.

Usually, my shift matches up with Nagisa’s since most of the staff has to work weekends. As a result, we end up spending a lot of time together and I remember why through it all, he is one of my closest friends. Nagisa may be really loud, but he is very easy to get along with. The job keeps me away from the apartment and away from awkward silences. I could not be more grateful for Nagisa’s help.

“So I’ve decided to go back to university next semester,” says Nagisa one day when we have a moment of downtime.

“What made you decide that?” I say.

“I mean, I never finished. Rei applied for a semester abroad and I decided to go with him, even though it didn’t really match up with my degree. I figured I’d take some time off and figure out what to do later. But now I want to go back. Seeing Rei spend so much time at University makes me miss it.”

“What are you going to do once you go back?”

Nagisa shrugged. “Still haven’t really figured it out, but I’m sure I’ll get there! What about you? You gonna go back to school?”

University? Well, that is an idea. I had screwed it up the first time, but it feels like I have been given a second chance at life. Why not a second chance at college? “I haven’t really decided what I’m going to do yet,” I say.

At that moment, another member of the wait-staff walks over. “Can one of you handle table number ten?”

“Sure thing,” says Nagisa. Our co-worker walks away. Nagisa is about to follow her, but then he turns back to me. “By the way, did you ever actually talk to Mako?”

“I… err…”

Nagisa pouts in that way that would be absolutely ridiculous if he was anyone else. “You really should, Haru! I worry about you two. You know how Mako is, he won’t say something is bothering him until you bring it up. Please tell me you’ll try to talk to him!”

I sigh. Nagisa’s right, I need to try and fix whatever it is going on between me and Mako. I got a second chance and I cannot just let my relationship with Mako crumble without doing something. “Okay.”

“That’s the spirit!” says Nagisa with a big smile. With that, he walks away, probably to find table number ten.

 

I get back to the apartment that night and find that Makoto is already there. He is sitting in the middle of the couch, wearing his glasses. There is a textbook in his lap and he is furiously scribbling away in a notebook. I consider just letting him work and walk towards the kitchen to get a head start on dinner, but Nagisa pops into my head. I know I am chickening out.

I take a deep breath and sit down on the couch as far away from Makoto as I can manage. “Hey, I was wondering if we could talk?”

Makoto looks up at me completely surprised. He did not hear me walk in. “Oh, hi, Haru! What’s up?” He closes the textbook and puts it down on the coffee table, giving me his biggest smile. I can tell he feels a bit tense. For the first time since coming back from the hospital, I feel like I am a ticking time bomb – or at least, that is how I feel like I am being treated.

The words rush out of my mouth before I can stop them. “You don’t have to put up with me because of some weird obligation, you know? I have other places to go. You don’t have to put up with me just because you think it’s the right thing to do.”

“What are you talk about?”

“I know you’re avoiding me. And I understand. I wouldn’t be okay with me either. Give me a few days, I’ll see if I can go somewhere, maybe Rei and Nagisa’s, and then you can look for a new roommate.”

“What? Haru-“

“Seriously, don’t worry about it. I’ll call Nagisa right away.”

“Haru!” He grabs my arm, an expression of panic painting his features. The books on his lap tumble to the floor. “Haru, please, listen to me! Please don’t go to Nagisa’s!”

“Why not? Wouldn’t that be better for the both of us? We can stop playing pretend here, Makoto.”

“Who’s playing? I’m not! Is this a game to you? If you want to leave, then I won’t stop you. But if you’re leaving because you think I want you to leave, then that’s not true! Haru, I do love you.”

My heart beats fast. “No, you don’t. You don’t need to lie to me and treat me like a porcelain doll because of my illness. I’m an adult, I can take it.”

“Of course I love you! What could possibly make you think otherwise?”

“The silence, Makoto! The fact that you don’t talk to me. You don’t feel like my boyfriend, you feel like my roommate. Fuck, not even that. You act like just some guy that shares the same space I do.”

The expression in Makoto’s eyes is heartbreaking. It is almost as if I can hear his heart shattering. “I- Haru, I thought… I’m sorry, I thought you wanted space. I’m an idiot.”

My mouth feels dry. “I- I don’t want space.” Makoto wraps his arms around me and pulls me close. I press my face into the crook of his neck and inhale. I can smell the soft sea breeze of Iwatobi, calling me home. I know the scent is no longer there – Makoto has spent far too long away from our hometown – but my brain fills in what should be.

“I’m sorry. I’ve been such an idiot. I just wanted to take things at your pace,” admits Makoto, pulling back slightly to look me in the eyes.

I lean in and gently place a quick kiss on his lips. “I want it to be our pace. Not my pace, not your pace, but our pace. I want to take our relationship at a speed we’re both comfortable with. Is that okay?”

Makoto nods. There is a smile in his eyes. “Absolutely.”

“So what do you want to do, then?”

“How does a date sound? A new restaurant just opened down the road and everyone says it’s amazing.”

I kiss him again, this time slightly longer than before.

 

That following morning, I am roused out of bed with a plate of breakfast, coffee, and a peck on the cheek. “Good morning, Haru.”

I swat at Makoto and grumble. My eyes slowly peer open and I manage to get out a simple, “’morning.”

“I got us movie tickets. I think you’ll like this one, it takes place near an ocean. Showing starts in an hour, you think you can get up by then?”

My eyes narrow. “I didn’t mean we had to go on a date as soon as possible, you know.”

Makoto is instantly chestfallen. “But-“

I sigh loudly and force myself into a sitting position. I take the food from Makoto, place it on the side table, and wrap my arms around his neck. “But if you want to go on a date, we’ll go on a date.” I press my forehead to his and smile. “I was just surprised, sorry if I sounded ungrateful.”

Makoto managed to pull me out of bed in the end. The movie is fantastic. The scenes in the water are amazing and definitely the highlight of the movie. The rest of the movie, the parts that do not involve the ocean, are fairly dull and on more than one occasion, I find myself looking over at Makoto. He locks eyes with me as well and kisses my hand. I am glad the movie theater is dark and can hide my bright red cheeks.

We leave the movie theater, smiles on our faces. Makoto leads us on the path that would take the longest to get back to our apartment. On the way, we stop by this little restaurant and Makoto leads me into it. We get a booth in the back and as we read the menu, I brush my foot against his under the table.

 

I get a call one afternoon from a number I do not recognize. I consider not picking it up, letting it go to voice mail, but decide at the last minute to see who it is. Instantly, I hear crying. My first thought is that it is a wrong number, but a loud sob calling, “Haru!” throws that idea out of the water.

“Hello, who is this?”

The sobbing quiets down a bit, but the person is definitely still crying. “It’s me, C-Chigusa. Can you help me?”

“Chigusa? What happened?”

At that moment, Makoto sticks his head into the room. “What’s the matter?” I hold up a finger, making it clear that he should be silent.

“Haru, please help! My parents threw me out of the house! I don’t know what to do, you were the only one I could think of calling!”

“Okay, hold on! Where are you?”

Chigusa tells me where she is. I hang up and run out the door. Makoto yells at me in confusion, asking me what is going on, but I ignore him. I will tell him everything later.

When I find Chigusa, she is huddling on a bench, folded in on herself, and much smaller and frailer than I ever remember her being.

“Chigusa, hey, let’s get you back to my apartment.”

She looks up at me, surprised. It is like she did not think I would actually come. She stands up from the bench slowly and I wrap my arm around her, leading her away.

Back at the apartment, Makoto is going crazy, but the second he sees Chigusa, he stops in his tracks. All he says is, “Who’s she?”

“This is Chigusa Hanamura. We became friends while I was in the hospital. She needs a place to stay.”

Makoto nods and extends his hand to her. She takes it warily. “Hi, Hanamura. I’m Makoto. It’s nice to meet a friend of Haru’s.”

Chigusa’s eyes go wide. “Oh, so you’re Makoto! Haru’s told me all about you.”

It is then that Makoto turns scarlet. “Um…”

“All good things, don’t worry!” says Chigusa with a laugh. Makoto breathes a sigh of relief.

“So Chigusa, I guess you can stay with us if you want. There’s not a lot of space, though, but if you’re okay with taking the couch... That’s okay, right, Makoto?”

“I don’t want to be a bother. I can be out in a few days, I promise,” says Chigusa.

“It’s fine with me. You can stay as long as you want. I just hope living with two guys doesn’t become too much of a nuisance,” says Makoto.

“No, no trouble at all, thank you so much!” says Chigusa.

“Do you think Kou would be up for having another roommate? I mean, it’s been a while, but I’m pretty sure she said something about it a while back,” I say. “She probably has more room than we do.”

“Wouldn’t hurt to ask,” says Makoto.

“I’ll call her. Be right back.” I walk into the kitchen to dial Kou’s number. I have seen much less of Kou recently and there is a specific hospital nurse that I can thank for that. Seijuurou eats up most of her time, taking her out to restaurants and movies and shopping centers and really anywhere and everywhere. When I do see Kou, Seijuurou is always two steps behind her. In just a short while, the two of them have transitioned from good acquaintances to dedicated significant others. I miss my friend a bit, but as long as she is happy, I cannot be too upset.

Kou picks it up after a few rings.

“Hey there, Haru! What’s up?”

“Hi, Kou. Listen, I was wondering if you were still looking for a roommate?”

“I’m great, thanks for asking, Haru. How about you? And yeah, I guess I am. Why do you ask?”

“I have a friend who needs a place. Chigusa, actually. I think you met her when you visited me once at the hospital.”

“Okay. Sounds great.”

“Can I drop her off at your place?”

“Um… not so sure if this is such a good time.”

“If it’s Seijuurou, I’m coming over.”

“Dammit, fine. Bring her over in fifteen minutes. Can’t believe you’re such a fucking cock block.”

I roll my eyes. “I’ll see you then.” I quickly shut off the phone before she can say any more.

 

Makoto takes me out to this fancy restaurant near the center of the city. It is absolutely the nicest place I have ever eaten. Half of the menu is stuff I cannot even pronounce. We end up ordering the cheapest dishes on the menu, but the food is still fantastic. This is a strain on both of our wallets, but the way that Makoto looks sitting there across from me in the dim light makes it all worth it.

As we walk back home, we find a fountain maybe a few blocks away from the restaurant. It is late and I am drunk off of Makoto’s company and the delicious wine we had. I slowly peel off my nice dress shoes and shove my socks into them. Makoto notices and screams, “What are you doing?” I roll up my nice dress pants and step into the fountain, the water cool across my ankles. It feels like bliss against my toes.

“Haru!” calls Makoto from the edge of the fountain.

I finally turn towards him and wade back over. “Come in with me.”

“Are you crazy? We’re gonna get arrested! Haru, get out of there!”

“Not until you come in with me.”

“Haru, I’m serious!”

“So am I.”

Makoto has a sour expression on his face and I take his hand. “Come on, I promise it’ll be okay. There’s no one around.” Makoto sighs and deposits his shoes next to mine. Then, he climbs into the fountain after me. Grinning, I walk over to him and pull him into a long kiss. His arms wrap around my hips and pull me closer. I pull back and whisper, “See, not so bad, is it?”

Makoto chuckles and pulls me back into the kiss. I am more than happy to oblige.

 

It is a warm, sunny afternoon. The seven of use are sitting at a small table of an outdoor café. Seijuurou has his arm draped across the back of Kou’s chair. Nagisa is feeding strawberries to Rei and giggling when he misses Rei’s mouth. Chigusa sits next to Kou, laughing along with everyone. My fingers are tangled between Makoto’s and our hands rest on the table.

Nagisa had called us up that morning and told us to get over to the café. It has been far too long since we all spent time together so Nagisa threatened to kick our asses if we did not show up. So in fear that Nagisa would make good on his threat, Makoto and I decided to meet up with our friends.

A waiter walks over and places a parfait in front of Kou. She grins and thanks the waiter. She goes to reach for the spoon, but Seijuurou is faster and the first bite disappears into his mouth. Kou huffs and wrestles the spoon out of his hand. “You’re lucky I like you,” she grumbles, but I can hear the amusement in her voice.

I turn to look at Makoto and he squeezes my hand, a soft smile on his face. Nagisa starts up a simple conversation about how proud he is of Rei’s university work. Rei turns bright red, but a small smile tugs at the corner of his mouth as he listens to Nagisa talk about him. Nagisa and Rei have been together since their first year of high school, before I had even properly sorted out my feelings for Makoto, and it shows in the way that they look completely at ease with each other. Rei is always leaning towards Nagisa and I am not sure if he is conscious of his body positioning.

The atmosphere is infectious and I did not want to be anywhere but here.

 

The armrest of the couch digs into my back as Makoto presses against me, not leaving any room between our bodies. He kisses me and I kiss back, our tongues sliding against each other. My hand tangles in his hair, pulling him closer. I can feel his hand gripping my shirt, not tugging, and his other hand is planted firmly on the armrest. He is straddling my hips and his body position shows that he is trying his hardest not to crush me. But I could not care less if he does, wanting his warm mouth pressed against mine forever.

His lips leave mine and travel down my jaw line, leaving searing kisses along the way. He reaches as far as the collar of my shirt and travels back up to meet my lips again. Our lips move together, a choreographed dance of warmth and pleasure. Makoto slips his hand under my shirt and travels up my side. His movements tickle a bit, but I do not move to pull it out. Instead, I lean back and tug my t-shirt over my head, discarding it over the side of the couch. Makoto’s shirt follows and I pull him back in, mouth to mouth, his bare chest to mine. He whispers, “This okay?” against my lips and I whisper back, “Yes.”

Kissing Makoto is wonderful and amazing and I have no idea why we tip toed around each other for so long after my hospital release. I could have been kissing him ages ago.

Makoto reaches to undo my belt and the world freezes.

I am in my bedroom, two weeks ago, hand wrapped around my barely hard cock. Moaning sounds come from the headphones jammed into my ears, noises from the porno playing on my laptop. The video would have gotten me off not too long ago, but now, no matter how much I fuck my lube-slicked hand, I do not get any harder. My sex drive is gone, replaced with small pills.

“Stop, stop!” I scream, my voice sounding far away. It does not sound like me.

Makoto jumps back, his eyes wide. “Haru! Haru, what’s wrong?” I want to sink into myself and disappear. I think about what to say to him, but nothing comes to me. I consider lying, but that would not be fair. At the same time, the truth sounds like a joke, a farce, a lie.

“Makoto…” I whisper, hoping he can understand what I am trying to tell him through a look, but I know he cannot; this is not something that can be explained without words. I nervously touch my hair.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry! Please tell me what’s wrong,” begs Makoto. I feel like crying. This is not his fault. How can it be his fault? It is my fault, it is my fault for being so messed up and needed medication to be less messed up. It is my fault that a little white pill has taken something so important to me. My biggest fantasy was always to be with Makoto, to have sex with Makoto. But now, when I can finally do that, I cannot. In the end, Rin took what I wanted more than anything for himself.

“Haru…” says Makoto, pulling me out of my thoughts and back into reality. I need to give him an explanation and Makoto deserves the truth, even if it tastes like a terrible lie.

I wrap my arms around him and press my face into his shoulder. “I can’t do this. I’m sorry.”

“That’s okay. We can try another time. I don’t want to do this if you’re not ready.”

“No… Makoto… I… I’ll never be ready.”

Makoto pulls back to look into my eyes. He is wearing the most heartbreaking expression. “What do you mean?”

I look away. I cannot say this while looking him in the face. “I mean… I can’t do this. I’ll never be able to do this. My medication, it killed my sex drive. As in, I’ll probably never get an erection no matter what. Sorry you have to find out like this. You probably wanna be with someone that you can actually have sex with, I understand.” I move to stand up, but Makoto stops me.

“That’s okay. I love you and if that means we never have sex, then I’m okay with that. I want to be with you and I don’t want to do anything that makes you uncomfortable.”

I give him a smile. It is probably a really awkward smile. “You don’t have to say that for my sake. I totally understand if this is a deal breaker.”

“I’m not lying. Sex isn’t that important to me that I’d break up with you over it.” He brings his hand up and pushes my hair out of my face. Then, he leans over and presses a kiss to my nose.

“Thank you,” I mumble, but I know he heard it by the giant smile he gives me.

It is then that I manage a glance at Makoto’s crotch and notice that he is still hard. I lean forward and reach for his belt. “You know, just because my dick is defective, doesn’t mean I can’t get you off.”

Makoto gasps and his eyes grow wide as saucers. “Wha-What? No! You don’t have to do that!”

I look up at him in confusion. “But I want to.”

I can tell that he is about to protest again, but I press the palm of my hand to his jeans and he can do nothing but moan. Deftly, I undo his belt and pull down his zipper. I motion for him to lift his hips and he does reluctantly. He is still not sure if this is okay, I can tell. I quickly kiss him and pull his pants and underwear down, freeing his erection. He is watching my every movement, not daring to look away. I can tell he is wondering if this is a joke, if I will run away any second from now. But I will not. I am not going anywhere.

Slowly, I take his cock in my hand. It feels a little surreal to be holding it. Makoto is ticker and slightly shorter than I am. I run my thumb across the underside. I have never done this, but I think about what I used to like and try to replicate it. My hand slides up and down his shaft. I hear his breathing go ragged and it is a very good sign that this is working.

I lean down and give the head of Makoto’s cock an experimental lick. I hear Makoto moan and gasp out, “No! Please, you don’t have to.”

“Makoto, trust me, I want to.”

I push Makoto’s cock into my mouth, as far as it will go, and grasp what cannot fit with my other hand. I bob my head up and down, his cock stretching my mouth. It feels so strange and my jaw hurts a bit, but the noises that Makoto is making makes it all worth it. I feel his hand tangle in my hair and tug lightly, not anywhere enough to hurt, but enough to tell me that he is really liking what I am doing.

Suddenly, Makoto pulls my head back and gasps, “Haru, I’m-“ It is the only warning I get before he comes on my face, covering my lips and chin. His head is thrown back against the back of the couch as he rides out his orgasm. After a moment, he opens his eyes lazily and looks at me. Shocked, he grabs for the tissue box sitting on the coffee table. “Sorry, oh my god, I am so so so so sorry!” he says as he wipes his come from my face gently. A light, bubbly feeling fills my chest cavity.

“It’s okay. I really don’t mind,” I say, breaking Makoto’s stream of apologies.

“But it’s pretty gross, isn’t it? Having something like that on your face.”

“If it’s yours, I don’t mind.”

Makoto looks extremely guilty and to make him feel better, I lie down on the couch and pull him down with me. He rests his head on my chest and I wrap my arms around him. I know he still feels terrible about it so I decided to change the subject.

“I think I’m going to go back to college,” I say.

That instantly gets his attention. “What, really? That’s great! What made you decide to go back?”

I shrug. “I’m thinking of going to law school after, maybe. I’m thinking about becoming a lawyer.” Makoto gets this happy, hopeful expression on his face. “Maybe. I’m not really sure yet,” I add. I do not want to get his hopes up.

“But just the fact that you’re going to go back to college is great already! When are you thinking of officially going back?”

“Next semester, probably. Right after the summer.”

Makoto smiles and cuddles closer. I know he’s proud of me.

I whisper, “I love you.” For a second, I wonder if he heard me, but he gives my hip a light squeeze and I know he did.

 

A light, spring breeze swirled around us. The university grounds are packed, students and their parents standing around, chatting to each other. I stand next to Makoto, our shoulders barely touching. He is smiling. It is finally the day, the day he has been working so hard for. Graduation day. I could not be more proud of him.

A loud voice calls Makoto’s name and we turn around. There, we see Makoto’s family walking towards us, smiles wide on their faces. Makoto’s mother still looks as young and cheerful as ever, his father wearing a matching warm smile. Ren and Ran, Makoto’s twin siblings, run ahead of their parents and barrel into Makoto with hugs. Makoto laughs and hugs them back. They notice me standing next to Makoto and before I know it, I am being hugged, too.

The ceremony is long and I feel like I am roasting under the bright sun. Nagisa, Rei, Kou, Chigusa, and Seijuurou are to my left while Makoto’s family sits to my right. We are not allowed to talk during the ceremony and I cannot help but wonder if it will ever end, the names of all the graduates blurring. Then, they finally get to Makoto’s name. Makoto walks up to the podium, big smile plastered on his face. He takes the diploma from the man behind the podium and shakes his hand – I think the man is the university president. I cannot help but remember that had I never dropped out, I would be standing next to Makoto up there, graduating with him. But I push that to the back of my mind. It is Makoto’s special day and seeing him up there, beyond happy, makes everything worth it. Plus, I will be up there some day. It will just take a few more years.

After the ceremony, we return back to the apartment. We eat dinner and then Nagisa leaves to buy beer. Makoto’s family says good-bye to us. They make us promise to visit them over the summer and we agree. With that, they leave, heading back to Iwatobi. When Nagisa returns, arms full of beer, we begin drinking and the atmosphere loosens. As the alcohol begins to run out, everyone finds it appropriate to stand up and say a speech, something to do with how much they love Makoto.

“Makoto was the most helpful captain ever! I don’t know how I could have handled my first year of being a manager without him! He’s a really great friend and I’m super proud of him! Congrats,” says Kou, nursing her second beer of the night. Seijuurou grins and kisses her on the cheek. She giggles.

“Hey, Rei, are you gonna take that?” asks Nagisa, elbowing his boyfriend with a grin. Rei had taken over Makoto’s position after the two of us had graduated.

Rei rolls his eyes. “Of course Makoto was a better captain than me.”

Nagisa laughs and finishes the rest of his beer with one swing. “Well, I guess I agree with Gou. Without Makoto, we wouldn’t even have had a swim team. Here’s to our best former captain, congrats on graduating!”

Our bottles clank together. I hold Makoto’s hand under the table and rest my head on his shoulder.

Eventually, the beer runs out and our guests see themselves out the door, with final congratulations and smiles. When the last person leaves, Makoto closes the door behind them with a sigh. I begin clearing the beer off of the kitchen table. Makoto walks up behind me and gathers me into his arms.

“Thank you, thank you so much. I love you,” he whispers into my neck. I smile and turn around, hugging him back and pulling him into a kiss.

“Congratulation, Makoto, I love you,” I whisper into his lips. “You’re very welcome.”

 

As promised, the first week of summer, we pack up our bags and hop on a train, heading straight for Iwatobi. The second we arrive, I am surrounded by a light breeze and the scent of the ocean. Before I know what I am doing, I am running, running as fast as I can. I can hear Makoto behind me, calling my name, but I ignore him. I finally make it to the beach, the sand soft under my feet and the waves crashing in my ears. The wind brushes my hair into my face. I have not been to the beach in so long I think have forgotten how much I love it.

As I peel off my shoes, Makoto catches up to me. “Haru! What’s are you doing?”

I turn around to look at Makoto. I can tell he is worried and I suddenly cannot help but feel guilty. “I- I wanted to come to the beach.”

Makoto shakes his head in disbelief, but I can see the small smile growing on his face. “I guess I should have expected this,” he says.

I stand there, looking at him awkwardly. The water is calling me and all I want to do is run in, but Makoto keeps me on the shore. In any other situation, I would have run into the water without any regard, but I know that Makoto wants to go home. His mother is probably preparing dinner for us and we have to unpack our bags, the bags currently sitting in the sand. Also, I know that, more than anything, Makoto is afraid of the ocean. I hesitate and wait for him to say something.

Makoto sighs. “Okay, go in the water. I’ll call my mom and tell her we’re gonna be late.” I smile and give him a quick kiss. Then, I pull my shirt over my head and shuck my pants, leaving myself in just my boxers. I run into the water and immerse myself in it. It is a bit cold, but mostly wonderful, feeling refreshing against my skin.

Makoto waits on the beach as I swim. I do not know how long I stay in the water, but by the time I figure I should get out, the sun is beginning to set. I drag myself out, reluctant to go, and drop myself next to Makoto. He holds out a towel to me and I drag it through my hair. The temperature has gone down and the sea breeze feels cold against my wet skin. “Thanks,” I say as I drag on my clothes. “I’m sorry that I was in the water so long.”

Makoto smiles and pulls me close. I rest my head against his shoulder and he rests his head against me. We look out on the water for a while and then, silently, we stand up. I walk over to our bags and pick them up for the trek back to the Tachibana house. I turn around to pass Makoto some of them, but what I see makes me drop everything.

Behind me, Makoto is down on one knee. He is smiling and in his hand is a small, open box. Inside the box shines a ring. “Haru, will you marry me?”

I feel tears form at the corner of my eyes. I nod, unsure I can speak. I gasp out a, “Yes!” not even sure if it sounds anywhere near a human language, but Makoto understands. He stands up and gathers me into his arms. I cry into his shoulder and he brushes his fingers through my hair. I cannot stop crying, no matter how much I want to.

When I finally manage to calm down, I pull back and kiss Makoto. Then, he presses his forehead against mine and says, “Let’s go home.” He is smiling and so am I.

And so, we grab our luggage and hand in hand, we run to Makoto’s childhood home as fast as we can.

 

I look back at Dr. Amakata. She is watching me patiently. “Am I happy?” I say.

Then I smile.

“Yeah, I am.”


End file.
